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Book Description
The unfortunate reality is that Christians are separating and divorcing at the same rate as the unbelieving world. But does separation have to mean the end? You may not feel like reconciling. You may not see hope for a reunion. But the biblical ideal for a separated couple is reconciliation. So how do you do it? When doors slam and angry words fly, when things just aren't working out, and even when your spouse has abandoned your trust, there is hope. Hope for the Separated will show you through God's Word that your marriage can be restored. Recognizing that restoration will not happen for everyone, Dr. Chapman also gives insightful advice for those who experience the pain of divorce.
Item Specifications...
ISBN 0802436390 EAN 9780802436399 UPC 000000873451
Pages 176
Dimensions: Length: 8.27" Width: 5.43" Height: 0.55" Weight: 0.55 lbs.
Binding Trade Paper
Release Date Jan 1, 2005
PublisherMOODY PRESS BOOKS #13
Availability 129 units. Availability accurate as of Nov 21, 2009 12:02.
Usually ships within one to two business days from New Kensington, PA.
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If you want to reconcile with your spouse or even other relatives, you will profit from the content in this book. As with most things, you have to actually do the work described though. Reading it once without acting on it won't help you much at all. There are no shortcuts or quick fix band-aids here. There are loving, Christ-centered principles and exercises here that will give you a good shot at healing the pain in your relationship. As part of the process, you begin with healing your relationship with yourself and with God so that you can reconnect with your partner. This isn't one of the books about finding yourself. It's about figuring out where you are and what is keeping you stuck there so you can move forward. It's also about beginning to understand and eventually forgive your estranged spouse enough that you can begin to heal together. You may find the audio form of the book helpful if you're feeling lonely or panicking over your separation. Mr. Chapman's voice is strong, gentle, and optimistic. I felt better almost right away because I felt understood and somehow reassured. :) God bless you and your broken relationship. He is our healer and the one who gives us hope when we're separated.
Not enough reasoning about motivation Jul 5, 2005
This book is heavily oriented towards Christians and a Biblical motivation for marriage. I picked this up after reading Chapman's "Five Love Languages," which was inspired by his faith but grounded in observation and study of real people.
"Hope for the Separated" does offer good advice on how to approach living apart, what to do with the time, how to approach reconcilliation, etc. Unfortunately, the only motivation given for reconcilliation, as opposed to divorce, is that the Bible says so. While this is enough for many, the approach of "Five Love Languages" led me to expect something more widely applicable.
In sum, this book provides much of the "How" but not a whole lot of "Why," unless a Biblical explaination is all the "Why" that you need.
Help in a Time of Trouble Jun 2, 2005
This book helped me out of my disillusionment. It made me realize that indeed, there are two sides to every battle, and that even if my marriage ultimately falls apart, God still loves me and my spouse. It helped me to understand the reasons behind the break-up, and how to work on those issues with God before I attempt to work them out with my spouse.
It was very eye opening for me Dec 21, 2004
I read this book thinking that it would have all of the answers for getting him back. In reading it, I realized that getting him back would be pointless.
He has to want to work things out. - It reminded me of Exodus with Moses and Pharoah. Pharoah's heart was hard and he would not let the people of Israel go.
Chapman states that just because something is God's will, He did give human beings free will, so they may decide to go against God's will.
I like how Chapman backs up his books with Scripture. Using the book as a guide, I was able to note some of the faults I'd made in the relationship, and some that I've made since.
I would like to seek reconciliation, but he as to want it to. In the end, he may decide that he would much rather part, and that is something that I'm going to have to accept.
Chapter 6 - Long Distance Love This chapter takes 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and breaks it down. Each section of this chapter is one of the characteristics of LOVE from Paul's letter the the people of Corinth. Seeing it broken down makes it much easier to digest.
Chapter 8 - How Do I Handle The Loneliness Fellowship with others!
Chapter 10 - If Your Spouse Returns I thought that this sounded a little idealist. Chapman said to call, but I tried email. Either way, he can choose to listen to the voicemail or deleted. With email, he can choose to read it or delete it.
Using the other information that Chapman gives in steps toward reconciliation, I strongly recommend seeing a pastor at your church or a Christian counselor. A non-Christian counselor will be of little benefit if you are working toward a Christ-centered relationship.
Chapter 11 - If You Spouse Demands Divorce This chapter was difficult to read because I was going through the "what if" in my head. It's not what I want to think about, but I have to at least acknowledge that it is a possibility.
Chapter 12 - Facing the Future Jesus said, "Give us this DAY our DAILY bread." In Exodus, God only allowed the people to gather enough manna for one day. Plan your day. (In another book, "The Love Languages of God", he mentions a woman whose husband left her, but each morning she gives the day to God. She isn't crying over her husband, she's celebrating her life.)
Sometimes, you've done all you can do, and you just have to leave the rest up to God.
If only all marital crisis could be solved this easily... Jan 22, 2004
I bought this book because of the word hope that appears so boldly on the cover. While there are some nuggets of Biblical and practical truths,I can't help but question the simplicity of the adviced shared. Marital separations and crisis are usually the result of many factors. For a once loving spouse to reject the other and totally walk out of the marriage, takes years and layers of problems. The suggestion of this book is to show love to the rejector. Then after showing this love, resolute in your mind that you want to reconcile. Call up the spouse that has hurt you beyond words,betrayed your absolute trust in him and left you to take care of all of life's situations by yourself and ask him for a "healing" dinner date?!?!? If you want a book that truly gives HOPE and a Biblical gameplan for enduring a separation and restoring a marriage read "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson. I refer to it daily and it gives me HOPE and reassurance each time. I also like the fact that it addresses other causes of marital crisis besides extra marital affairs. If you can totally pinpoint the reason for your separation and that reason is the only factor in the crisis, then this book and the "healing dinner date" will probably be of great encouragement to you. If the reasons lie deeper, seek out a copy of "Love Must Be Tough".
