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Book Description Does your heart skip a beat when you think of all that could go wrong in the parenting years ahead? Anxiety is normal, but your worst fears don’t have to become reality. Speaking both as a therapist and as a father--and drawing on a landmark study of 35,000 parents--Dr. James Dobson helps you . . .
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"Disappointed" is quite wrong. Dr. Dobson does not advocate "breaking the spirit"; in fact, he warns against this. What he does encourage is to "break the will" (defiance). This is an excellent book to read if you want to raise children who are respectful and well-adjusted.
a little too religious
I was looking forward to reading this book. I was disappointed to discover the author's religious beliefs woven throughout the text. To my knowledge, the book was not advertised in any way as a religious take on the topic. Further, the author advocates 'breaking the spirit' of children and suggests that one way to do so is to slap their thighs as a show of who is boss.
Quite a disappointment.
Parenting really isn't for cowards!
As a mother of eleven children I can only hope that many new mothers who are challenged with strong willed children can read this book with all its advice and wisdom which came at a time when I most needed it! For years I have referred to Dr. Dobson's books but by far, this book brought me more than I ever expected a book to do. Forgiveness came almost immediately and guilt and self-doubt were replaced with confidence, then I could re focus on my very strong willed 17 year old. Each day will bring something new but I am re-fueled and stronger from Dr. Dobson's words and advice. This is a must in every home with strong willed children,to be read and referred to over and over again. It truely will help and parenting does become a joy once again.
commenting on the reviewer below...
While I know that James Dobson is not always right.... I think it is absolutely ridiculous that you would blame every single one of your problems on him and your mother. You sound very much like you are looking for people to blame, rather than a way out of your issues. My parents spanked me all the way through my childhood, yet I'm doing great now. I'm emotionally stable, healthy, living fear-free, and I'm prospering financially. The same goes for my wife, who was also spanked as a child. You mention that you have no relationship with God... Is that what you're going to tell Him when you're standing before Him someday? That you lived your whole life on this earth and didn't have a relationship with Him because you were spanked as a child? Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at you and neither is God... but it's time that you take some responsibility for where you are right now. You can't spend the rest of your life blaming others for where you are spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I've known of people who were molested, beaten, raped, abandoned, verbally abused, etc when they were children.. yet they now take total responsibility for where they are in life. They have an awesome relationship with God and with others, and they are now teaching thousands of other people how to live a victorious life. Being spanked as a child is no reason to not love and respect your mother. That's crazy. Being spanked as a child also does not justify all of the conditions and issues that you have mentioned. You are only a decision away from a completely different life. Yes, you must change your thinking. Yes, you must associate with different people. Yes, you must do a lot of other things to change your situation... but it all starts with a decision. And that decision is yours and no one else's. Everything that you'll ever need has already been provided through the finished work of Jesus Christ.
If you'd like to email you can: justinstout1983 @ yahoo . com
This is child abuse
Parenting means to prepare a child for life, to nurture, to love, to guide, to teach. Discipline is loving guidance, not corporal punishment, where the child in a demeaning and destructive way wrongly learns that violence is a form of acceptable communication and guidance, by parents. There are no benefits to hit a child - It is destructive for a child's self worth, self esteem, and demeaning and disrespectful. Children have feelings and emotions as adults. It is extremely unfair and disgraceful of parents to misuse their power on weaker people - our children - who are defenseless and who don't have their own voice. Your child will be confused and think "Why is my mother and father whom I love and trust inflicting pain on me?" Hitting a child, will separate the bond between parents and a child, and will only make the child fearful of their parents. In addition, hitting a child won't teach and guide a child towards better behavior in a constructive and communicative way. By slapping someone, what do you learn? Nothing - only that it is okay to be antisocial and misbehave and to be violent. Parents who hit their children are THE ONE'S misbehaving. They are no good role models. These parents need parenting classes and therapy as they are victims of abuse themselves. These parents are out of control and out of knowledge. Think of the Golden rule: Treat other people, yes children are people too, as you with to be treated yourself, with respect, love and kindness. Children are children: They need a safe place to explore their boundaries and to test their parents' love, where parents act as wise, patient, and loving parents- as parents. Why spank a child whose brains are not yet fully developed? Children don't know right from wrong - It is our job to guide and teach them, not punish them. Christians should know better that "spare the rod, spoil the child" from Proverbs in Old Testament is not current any longer. Remember- With Jesus comes a better way, a New Law: The New Testament. Jesus does not spank the children. Jesus says "Let the children come to me". Jesus loves the little children. My fundamental questions are: Why do these parents give birth to children in the world if they can't raise children and love children? Where is the human intelligence here? These dysfunctional parents have grave limitations when it comes to parenting children, as they have not healed from their wounded past and subconsciousness. Their only driving force is to let the child take away their own pain from abuse, by forcing them to pay the price for their own pain, and force the child know how it feels like to be abused. Better books on child discipline: "The Natural Child" by Jan Hunt "Parenting for a peaceful world" by Robin Grille "Parenting from your heart" by Inbal Kashtan "The Happiest Baby on the block" by Dr. Harvey Karp "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp "The Discipline Book" by William and Martha Sears "The Case Against Spanking: How to Discipline Your Child Without Hitting" by Irwin A. Hyman "The Irreducible Needs of Children" by T. Berry Brazelton, MD, and Stanley I. Greenspan, MD. "When your child drives you crazy" by Eda LeShan "Loving your child is not enough" by Nancy Samalin "Christian Parenting & Child Care: A Medical & Moral Guide to Raising Happy, Healthy Children." By William and Martha Sears
